


a pot of overflowing emotion

by seijhoes



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, F/M, Levi helps (in his own Levi way with rare softness), ooc maybe?, post return to shiganshina, she just needs a hug, she's just feeling very unsure :(, sort of that between after meeting with Historia and going to the ocean, spoilers?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23491612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seijhoes/pseuds/seijhoes
Summary: Hanji just wants to meet everyone's expectations, maybe meet the standards everyone had for Erwin, Levi is there to remind her that she doesn't have to do all that
Relationships: Hange Zoë/Levi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	a pot of overflowing emotion

**Author's Note:**

> I love them, and it made me really sad writing this bc,,, I love Hanji so much and I feel like she'd struggle at least internally with these fears, obviously Levi probably wouldn't say all this to her, but a levihan shipper can dream right? You can't tell me that he doesn't care about her and just wants to see her do well

Hanji had always given Erwin crap for having a stick up his ass when he was commander, but now she was beginning to understand the uptight attitude.

Her soldiers looked to her for answers, for guidance, especially now what with all the uncertainty in their world. Knowing that there actually were civilizations outside of their own, people who considered them devils and wanted them all dead, it was enough to make her head spin. But she didn’t have the luxury of feeling uncertain, not when she had five extremely confused teenagers on her hands who were trying to process as well. She needed to be there for them too.

Well, she supposed not, since they were technically Levi’s responsibility, but they had been with the Survey Corps for what felt like forever, she couldn’t help but get attached to them. Especially since they were basically the only ones who had made it through the mission to retake Shiganshina, these kids were something that was for sure.

So, because of all those facts put together, Hanji kept it in. She worked hard to prove not only to the other military leaders, but to herself as well that she could be even half as good as Erwin was. Even so, no matter how much of a facade she put up of the tough, confident commander, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. How could she be when she wasn’t even sure of her own abilities?

***

What was that expression, burning the candle at both ends? For as long as Hanji had been in the Survey Corps, even before becoming commander, she’d been scolded by both Levi and Moblit that she worked herself too hard and usually had to be dragged off by the latter to actually get some sleep or get something to eat. She’d always acted annoyed by the gestures, but she knew he meant well, he always did. Sometimes she half expected him to burst into her office and give her that disapproving yet exasperated look whenever he found her still working on an experiment. No one usually came into her office at night unless it was urgent news, other than that it was just her, left alone to her own devices until she passed out on the pile of papers and reports she had to look over. She enjoyed this routine of hers, though the only thing she didn’t like was being left alone with her thoughts, the ever looming threat of the pot of her emotions eventually boiling over being constant.

Until one night that routine was interrupted.

Hanji wasn’t sure what time it was when she heard a knock on the door, only knowing in the broader sense that it was late and that everyone was in bed by now. “Come in.”

She was only mildly surprised that it was Levi, the only surprise came from the fact that he was visiting her. He was as much as a night owl as she was (or maybe the right word would be insomniac). 

“Hanji.” He walked in and shut the door before she could even greet him, turning to look at her as he leaned against the wall. “What’s up with you lately, you seem off.” Always straight to the point, typical Levi.

Hanji blinked, plastering a smile on her face. “Whaddaya mean? I’m fine! I mean, maybe a little stressed but otherwise-”

“Cut the bullshit.” He interrupted her, striding over to where she was seated at her desk and slapped his palms down onto the hard surface. “You can’t let the stress get to you, you’re the commander now. If you start to crumble, then so will everyone else.”

She sighed, closing her eyes (or, remaining good eye) as she began to massage her temples. He could always see through her, but this wasn’t what she needed right now, she could visualize the potful of emotions beginning to boil over. “Levi-”

“No, you’ve been off and I want to know why.”

“Levi-”

“We can’t have our new commander appear weak Hanji!”

“That’s the opposite of what I’m trying to be!” And there it was, she stood up and slammed her palms down on the table as well. “I’m fucking trying to be a good commander, dammit I’m trying to be everything Erwin would have wanted me to be!’ Her voice rose with every word, making Levi’s eyes widen slightly. He wasn’t used to her anger being directed at him.

“N-No one can be Erwin!” She continued, raking her hand through her hair as tears began welling up in her good eye, it was still so odd to her now that she could only cry with one eye. “The man had his flaws but he still got us to Shiganshina! He… he got so far, he furthered humanity’s chance with his sacrifice, and now with this new threat with these people across the sea, with Zeke still on the loose, we’ve been sitting ducks this entire time!” She laughed as tears began falling, though she couldn’t pinpoint if it was because she was exhausted, or because she had finally snapped, it could be either at this point. “They could be planning something this very minute, and we wouldn’t know! We wouldn’t even have a way to fight back, we lost almost the entire Survey Corps I-” She paused, sitting back down as if she had run out of things to say. There was a long pause as she put her head in her hands, and as Levi watched.

“...I shouldn’t have even survived that day, the only reason I did was because of Moblit and now he’s…” She hiccuped, tears falling onto one of the reports she had been reading prior to his arrival. It was quiet again, save for the occasional sniffle on her end.

Jeez, what was wrong with her, having an outburst like this? Hanji could almost bet that Erwin never broke down like this in front of anyone, honestly the man probably kept every emotion that didn’t have to do with humanity’s survival pushed to the side. She’d probably have to learn to do the same, if she wanted to be a smidgen as good as he was. 

She was so lost in thought that she hadn’t noticed that Levi had lifted his hand and laid it over hers, the one that remained on the desk. He cleared his throat and she looked at him, quickly wiping away her tear stained face and the snot dripping from her nose.

“I’m making tea.” He stood up and left, leaving her alone. He really must think she was a nutcase.

Levi returned a while later with two teacups in hand, holding them in his signature weird way that she liked to tease him about every so often. She thought about doing it now, but it didn’t come as naturally as it would have normally. He sat down across from her after he handed her her cup and took a sip, taking a breath and setting his cup down. 

“Hanji, let me be clear,” He began, lacing his fingers together. “You can’t measure up to Erwin.”

“Gee, thanks Levi.” She said dryly, taking a sip of her tea.

“Let me finish, you can’t measure up to him because it’s not possible to. He was on some other level that none of us could reach, a raging, blazing inferno that burned bright for humanity.” He sighed, taking another drink. “But there was a reason he named you the next commander, because he trusted you to do whatever was right after he was gone, because you’ve proved your loyalties and intentions time and time again with your damn titan research, and the way you’ve served.”

Hanji cocked an eyebrow, but he wasn’t done. “You’ve done more for humanity than you think, and Erwin could see that. Even with your shitty vision I thought you would be able to see that too.” She let out a little snort at that.

“Look, all I’m saying is that he chose you for a reason, and I think he was right in his decision.” Levi finished his tea, staring down into his cup for a moment. “All those kids out there? They trust you, even if your plans are often times unorthodox, they’ll follow you to the end.” He stood up and looked down at her, who was staring back at him with her eye wide. 

“Because I’ll follow you to the end, and I consider it an honor to serve under you.” 

She let out a soft, yet audible gasp as he headed for the door, her gaze fixed on his retreating figure. It was a rarity to hear him be so… soft? She had heard it only a few times, but she hadn’t expected to hear it now. 

“Oh, and Hanji.”

“Yeah?”

Levi turned his head to look at her, and she swore that there was a hint of a smile on his lips. “Go the fuck to bed, will you?”

Hanji broke out into a grin, a genuine one, and nodded as she gave him a playful salute. “Aye aye captain!”

He let out a little huff and left the office, the door closing with a gentle click, leaving her all alone again. But, instead of before, when she had been down about herself, she was left feeling more confident, and dare she say, cheered up.

Maybe she should bring up the possibility of Levi’s future career as a therapist to him the next day, once all this business of dealing with Zeke and people trying to wipe them out was done and over with, he could make a fortune.


End file.
